6.18.2008

On Becoming Thirty One

Coming into your thirties is like an out of body experience. I'm living it, every moment of it, but it doesn't feel real. I feel like I should be somewhere else. Doing something else. Exactly the opposite of what I'm currently doing.

Looking at how my friend's lives are changing drastically, I'm simultaneously gripping to my singlehood and yearning for the comfort of that new family they are all enjoying. The search to find someone to start that family with - (I know. I know. One step at a time)- is proving to be superfluously difficult, although I've come to terms with the fact that he won't appear at my doorstep, in my living room, or come out of the television.

I've come to grips with my past mistakes. I'm embracing who I am, flaws, baggage, hangups, and all, and am really ready to just get on with it already. I have figured out where I want to go, and its making the decisions I need to get there easier to make.

Happy 31 to me. I'm off to Safeco. Go M's!